Where Your Heart Is

Do you love God? How often do we claim to love God, but deep in our heart, do we really? What is love? Some say that love is blind, others say that love is selfless, the infamous google say that love is an intense feeling of deep affection, while there are some, mostly Christians like you and me that say love is God or vise versa. In 1 Corinthians 13:8 it says that Love never fails. Yes, we each have our own definition of what love is, but we all know that if we love someone/something we give it our time, effort, money, and we cannot live without it. We even dream about it and it is the first thing we think about when we wake up. So now, let me ask you again, do you love God? Now I also ask myself, where do I put my time, effort, money and what is the most important thing to me? Living as a single middle-aged woman with grown up kids, I find solace in eating. Yes, I admit, I am a glutton. I love to eat and I don't care how much it cost but I will spend every single penny I have if possible on food. I didn't think that this was wrong, well, not until recently. Anything that is excessive is wrong. I know that now. God wants us to protect His temple, this body that He created especially for us. It may not be perfect, but it is God's unique creation. No one in the entire universe has a body like yours. And if you allow it to rot then you are dishonoring God. Food is a necessity for us to live, so we must eat to live and not live to eat. So you better start running and stop eating it is never too late.

My Time To Love

I was not a generous person. I have always believed that charity begins at home and so, I am generous to my immediate family only. I never cared about the sufferings of other people around me. In fact, I sometimes feel that their sufferings were petty compared to all that I've been through. Now that I am consciously praying to be more generous, God is testing my determination. I have a neighbor who is an 80 year old lady. She asks for meals three times a day, everyday, and not only that, she borrows money everyday. She will enter our house without even knocking and just approach me or any of my children and sell her old clothes. She lives in a house with her daughter and granddaughter, both unemployed and not seeming to worry about it. My Mom complains to me everyday about our neighbor and it is really testing my patience. It is hard enough to control my annoyance when dealing with my 66 year old mother and now there's one more elderly who wants to be taken cared of, but Proverbs 18:16 said "A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great." I will accept this challenge. I will not be defeated by my insensitivity. I will be a generous person not because I want God to be more generous to me, but because Jesus asked me to love and that is what I will do. It is now my time to love.

Pain Is The Fuel Of Passion

People react to pain in a million different ways. Some resort to destructive behaviors but there are a few who become more productive when in pain. There are women who thinks that changing their hairstyles after a break-up will bring good luck. I have different reactions to pain. When I was younger, I resort to drinking alcohol until I'm dead drunk. When I became a parent, I sleep for 4 days not wanting to wake up. When I became a Christian, I cry in prayer, I listen to praise and worship songs, and I write a blog :) I am not really in pain right now, well, nothing out of the usual everyday problems (Thank God!) but during my morning meditation I encountered upon a verse in Psalm 91:14 which says "The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name." So there is really no reason for us to be depressed and feel helpless because we have a Father who will always at anytime no matter what rescue us in any situation. It is best to put your trust in Jesus. Let your pain set fire to your heart and ignite a passion to worship Him, our ever loving, omnipotent, perfect, unfailing God. Then you will find relief and comfort. Only in Jesus. 

Give And You Shall Receive

I am not a very generous person. Maybe, because of all the challenges I faced in my childhood, I became cynical towards other people. My personal motto has always been "Charity begins at home". My family suffered financially during my childhood because of mismanagement of funds and we still have not recovered from that. Lately, I've been struggling with not only finances but with something deeper within me. I have lost the desire to serve and pray. I continue to live my life everyday without actually being productive. I continue to waste my existence by doing minimal work that earns money and spends the rest of my day watching Korean dramas online. I did not even hear my inner-self screaming at me to wake up, and do something meaningful with my time. Yesterday for some reason, I changed my course and started a new blog. I even committed myself into continuing my online radio program. Today as I was meditating on Pastor Rick Warren's daily message, I encountered Proverbs 11:25 that said "The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed." And I realized that this is what's missing in my life. 

Charity. 

I have resolved to be more generous of my time, finances, and talents moving forward. I will not give God the "extra" in my finances anymore, I will give Him the first cut. Please pray for me. 

Staying In Love With Jesus

My personal relationship with God is like a roller coaster ride with it's ups, downs, and curbs that makes other people scared. I have gotten used to it that I don't feel anything anymore. Problems have been a regular happening in my life that I don't even think about it anymore. I don't know if my passive attitude is more of a disadvantage than an advantage, but God trained my mind to not care about problems any longer. I know that an answer will eventually come and time will take away the pain. What I am most struggling with is how to keep the fire in my heart burning for Jesus. How not to be burned out. How not to feel burdened by my mission and continue my journey home. 

Prayer is the answer. 

Never miss your quiet time with God. Rest in Him and let Him work on your behalf. Let the Lord go before you and let his light show you the way. 

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13